Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
