I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
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