That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
