Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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