Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
