So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
