Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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