Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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