Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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