Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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