she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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