i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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