He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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