I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
