ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Your tits are I can't wait for
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
