im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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