Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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