I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
