What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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