I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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