shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
