so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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