I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
