Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
