so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
