this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
