Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
