I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
