We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
