So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
