we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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