I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
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