You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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