Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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