I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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