around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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