i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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