Where did you get a picture of my penis
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
