Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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