thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
