just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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