she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
