margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
