you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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