Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
