Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
