The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
