just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
