Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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