Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
