Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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