I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
