i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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