Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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