Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You took a bar mat shot.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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